Follow @is0ac Biblical Perspective: August 2012

Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 6

For part 5 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 5

Love
Reason number three, absence of mutual love. When you look at a woman or a girl, who is set to be your wife and the future association is bereft of emotions and feelings of love, that look considers the woman as a tool and a commodity to satisfy your sexual passions, which the Bible refers to as the lust of the flesh. If you do not love the person whom you marry, how will you respect that person? If there is no respect for the person, then there is no control over your thought process and resulting actions.

That is the very reason you make snide remarks on her. She is a matter of joke to you in your talks, comments and in your discourses with others. She is made to bear the brunt of your stupidities.

Sex is an integral part of marriage. Sex has to function and enjoyed inside marriage. But when you indulge in sex with a person whom you do not love, it is then only to seek your own pleasure. It is not making love. It is to fulfill your sexual desires. It is wicked. You are only using the other person’s body as a tool to satisfy your lusts. Does not Bible state that marriage is honorable among all and marriage bed is undefiled? Did God not say that He will judge adulterers and fornicators? Heb 13:4

How can a man and a woman come together in marriage in the absence of mutual love and respect and engage in sex? Bible dedicates a whole book, the Songs of Solomon, to the love between a husband and his wife.

You know why you end up with pregnancy within a year of your marriage? Because, since you do not love each other but engage in sex, you do not want to enjoy each other. You do not want to know your wife, understand her and enjoy the company of each other for a while and you headlong into pregnancy. Also, you marry with the false idea that marriage is only for procreation. No, it is not THE number one reason to marry, but surely an important one, out of the many, as God commands in the Bible.

For final part in this series, please click, Arranged Marriage: Biblical Perspective, Part 7

Abusive Marriage: Biblical Perspective, Part 1

I am constrained to talk on this issue of abusive marriage because someone close to me is trapped in an abusive marriage. And that reminds me (though it is hard to forget) of my growing years.

I grew up in a family where my father abused my mom physically, mentally and emotionally. The physical and mental assault had a lasting impact on her. She became a picture of disaster. For as long as I had seen her, she lived an isolated life, cut-off from the society. Years of brutal and consistent assault left her with a low self-esteem and inferiority complex. The assault ceased after number of years only to return as she became more sick and became bedridden during the past one year (2011-April, 2012). In 2011, I even sought help and reported his criminal acts to the police, who like others, refused to intervene and help.

As her children began to fly away from the nest leaving her lonely, she was left to face my dad all by herself. It was only during a year before her death, as she lay in the hospital, I prodded her to share her agony and travails. She died on May 03, 2012. These are just few bits of information I am sharing for the benefit of my readers.

I never saw my mom and dad talk eye to eye. Any conversation, barely initiated, would result in my dad shrugging her off with his insensitive remark or a statement. He just did not respect her. I suppose, over the years, she realized there was no sense in having a conversation with him.

She confessed if she had the money, she would have quit her marriage. She was trapped as she had no financial back-up nor was she in a position to work, having been drained of her physical strength. She bore five children in a span of seven years. By the time the assault started, she was thirty one plus and a mother of five growing children.

She did not receive any support from the church or believers, some of who knew her ordeals. The church, the pastors, the believers all failed in their duties towards a fellow sister in Christ who was left to fight it out a lone battle. In the thirty five years that I’ve been in the church, I’ve never heard a message on the issue of abusive marriage.

Let’s begin our discussion with few questions.

What do you do when you are trapped in an abusive marriage? What do you do when you are being abused physically or mentally or both? What do you do when you are being picked on, ill-treated, humiliated, harassed, assaulted and consciously neglected by your spouse?

Confusion
These and many other questions disturb and perturb Christians in their married life. Christians are confused over this and the church has nothing to offer in these practical areas of life, having turned a blind eye to these real-life issues. The pastors and Bible teachers have failed to teach the full counsel of God to their church members. May God judge these pastors and teachers!

What is the Biblical perspective on such a sensitive and serious issue? What does Bible has to say about a marriage-gone-horribly-wrong? How should a Christian react and respond in these situations? What is the course of action available for the victim in such a marriage?

For part 2 in the series, please click, Abusive Marriage, Part 2



Abusive Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 2

For part 1 in the series, please click, Abusive Marriage, Part 1

Now, it troubles me when I see and hear the prevailing approach among Christians to this issue. The approach closely resembles that followed by the unregenerate society.

In India, among unbelievers, society's respect, family honor and reputation are the primary concern. In the unregenerate society, the parents may sympathize with the suffering of their daughter but will refuse to bail her out. She is counseled by her parents, elders of the family, siblings and relatives to continue with the marriage at all costs and to bear the suffering, all for the sake of family honor and reputation in the society. The question they are concerned about is ‘what people will say?’

False Pride
Due to their false pride and ego, being a result of the depravity of their minds, the unregenerate society disregards the rights of and goodwill towards an individual. The society is willing to sacrifice the individual than take a hit on its false pride. Since it does not worship the True and Living God, it is not concerned about the impact such abusive marriage will have in her relationship with her God. An evil and corrupt society is engrossed in religion, its rituals, customs and tradition and has no concept of God.

We Christians, having been raised in such a society and surrounded by unbelievers, too are guilty of ignorantly believing and foolishly following these customs and belief system which are contrary and are abominable to God. God of the Bible abhors the customs which are in total defiance of statutes as laid down in the Bible. We are continuously being bombarded with their approach through news and entertainment media.

At the outset, it is good to know few Biblical truths about marriage. Listen folk, marriage is important, honorable and desirable as is also written in Heb 13:3, 'Marriage is honorable among all' as well as in Prov 18:22, 'He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.' Paul also reiterated the same thing in I Cor 7:2, 9, 28, 36 and 38.

For part 3 in the series, please click, 





Being Childless: Biblical Perpective, Part 4

For part three in these series, please click, Being Childless: Biblical Perspective, Part III

In II Samuel 6:23, the author says, that as a result of her despising, condemning, humiliating, criticizing David and holding him in contempt, she did not bear any child till her death. That is a profound statement, a profound judgment. In II Samuel 21:8, she is mentioned as having raised her sister’s children. The lack of understanding of the God of Israel, non-submissive attitude towards her husband, a life of unrepented sin, caused so much pain and humiliation to her. The children who were raised by her were put to death, verse 9.

From the very beginning, woman and her womb has been closely associated. In Genesis 3:16, God’s judgment to the woman on her disobedience was this: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bear children.” In Genesis 20, due to the sin of king Abimelech, king of Gerar, God shuts the womb of all the women in the household of the king for the sake of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. On king Abimelech’s acceptance of his sin and restoration of Sarah to Abraham, Abraham prays to God and then they bore children, verse 17.

God forgives sin but we will have to face the consequences of our sin. If your life is filled with porn, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, and sex with prostitutes, and when you repent of your sins and come to Jesus Christ for forgiveness, God will forgive your sin but you will have to live with the consequences of that lifestyle. In II Samuel 12, God confronts David with the sin of sexual immorality with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah, husband of Bathsheba. In verse 13, David repents of his sin, ‘So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Though God forgave his sin, still he had to bear the consequences of his sin, verse 13, 14.

God of the Bible does not consider a barren woman to be cursed. While on the way to the cross to be crucified, Jesus said (meant), ‘you consider a barren woman to be cursed, but hear this, “the days are coming in which they will say, ‘blessed are the barren, wombs that never bore a child.”

When God shuts your womb, He is allowing an opportunity in your life for His name to be glorified. It does not mean that you continue to pray to God and expend your hard earned money on finding medical solution. It does not mean that you continue to wait for the Lord to work miracle in your life. Was there only Sarah, Samson’s mother, the great woman of Shunem, Hannah, Elizabeth who were barren, in all the history of Israel? Of course, there would have been other women who would have been barren. What happened to all the other barren women? Did they all conceive and bore a child? We do not know. The Holy Spirit had chosen to mention only these women because God had specific plan to glorify His name in them and through them.

 For part 5 in the series, please click,

Being Childless: Biblical Perspective, Part III



For part two in these series, please click on Being Childless: Biblical Perspective, Part II

In II Kings 4:8, we read about a woman. She is referred to as a ‘great woman.’ II Kings 4: 8-10, ‘and it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was 
a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread. Verse 9, and she said unto her husband, behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God, which passed by us continually. Verse 10, ‘please, let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; so it will be, whenever he comes to us, he can turn in there.’ You see her ministry to God’s mighty man. Verse 14, and Gehazi answered, “Actually, she has no child, and her husband is old.” Verse 16, Elisha says, “About this time next year, you shall embrace a son.” Verse 17, ‘but the woman conceived, and bore a son….’

A woman having a compassionate heart for God’s people, a woman serving God’s prophet is barren. She in no way is a cursed woman. In spite of not having a child, she is not a bitter woman. She is not angry. On the contrary, she has a service attitude, she is a content woman. Verse 13, “and Elisha said to him, “say now to her, ‘look, you have been concerned for us with all this care. What can I speak on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?’” She answered, “I dwell among my own people.” O, what a content woman.

Luke 1: 5-7, ‘there was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah, his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. Verse 6, and they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. Verse 7, but they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well advanced in years.

See, righteous people, obeying God’s commandments, blameless and yet barren. God had a purpose in her being a barren and them being well advanced in years. God gave them a child, who was known as John the Baptist.

In all the instances where Bible talks about a woman being barren, it never associates barrenness to sin. In all the references, God had been glorified through the barrenness of the woman.

This discussion is incomplete without reference to II Samuel 6:23, ‘therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.’ 20 Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!”
21 So David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the Lord. 22 And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor.”

For part four in the series, please click on Being Childless: Biblical Perspective, Part 4